April 2021 at the Park

I wondered and prayed about what to share with you on my blog this month. And then the answer came via a text from a friend about how she had just been sharing my story from Easter 2021 with a new widow and how it encouraged her. Thank you for my answer, Kathy:-)

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During Ken’s last weeks in early 2021, we were blessed through visits by two men from Fellowship Bible Church of Bentonville. Kelly Prude and Mark Shatzman spent hours of quality time with Ken in his last few weeks, getting to know him, praying with him, and hearing his story and hope for life beyond death. A few weeks after Ken passed, Mark, who is also one of the pastors of the church, asked if I would prayerfully consider answering a few questions at the end of the upcoming Easter service, which would be held on the lawn of a nearby park, as the new building was not open yet. I was both honored and humbled to share my answers with those who gathered on the lawn that Easter Sunday in 2021. Ken and I had spent lots of time at this park with the grandchildren, biking, walking, and talking about our future in NWA. And just across the street is Circle of Life, where Ken spent his last few days. Interesting how all these moments, places, memories, and experiences came together on that special Easter morning. Along with the reminder, then and now, of heaven beyond this life on earth, “Because He Lives”.

Easter 2021, Questions from Mark Shatzman and my Answers:

In the months of Ken’s diagnosis and battle, how did you sense the care and compassion of the Lord?

From the first hospital visit till the moment Ken breathed his last breath, we both knew that the Lord was with us and caring for us through this unfamiliar and difficult journey. Before Ken was unable to recall verses any longer, he chose a few for us to hold onto.  He knew that God and his word must be first in all we were to do: “Seek Ye first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its’ own.”  Matthew 6:33,34

Jesus demonstrated his care and compassion for us when he died on the cross and then was resurrected so we would have hope for a future beyond this life that we don’t need to worry about.  Jesus cares deeply for us. Care and compassion were provided through others in the form of help, encouragement, support, and prayers. Jesus provided care for us through others.

During the middle of the night I would find myself crying out to Jesus for help in caring for my husband and deep sorrow over what the future would hold living without him. I simply could not understand or accept what was happening. At these times the Holy Spirit would literally dry my tears and flood me with peace and assurance that Jesus would never leave me. Jesus is with me continuing to care for me. And I was reminded:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not only our own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your path” Proverbs 3,5-6

How did the hope of heaven and a belief in the Risen Savior sustain Ken in his battle?

Ken knew that God’s plans may not be comfortable or easy for us on earth, but that his ultimate plan was the best one. The verse he set as his theme for this journey is/was:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.
Ken knew that Jesus Christ had paid the ultimate and final payment for his sins and that through belief in him, he would enjoy life eternal with him beyond this human existence. He literally longed for heaven in his final journey here. While he knew I would be without him, he was confident that I would be okay and that he would see me in heaven soon, where we would spend eternity with our heavenly Father. He once stated, “ I am done, I can’t take this anymore,” only to follow up with “God’s not finished with me here yet, I can do this. Jesus suffered much more than I am now.” Ken knew where he was going, and yet he hoped and prayed for others to not miss out on the opportunity, that they knew about Jesus and how to join him someday. He was so sure about his life after this earth that when he met Sue and Lisa (wives of Kelly and Mark), he told them that he felt sorry for them for having to stay here on earth while he gets to go be with Jesus in heaven. And followed up with a request to make sure Pati gets connected.

And you (Pati) today (April 2021)?

My journey through Ken’s brain cancer battle is over, although I do face a very different and difficult journey now, I don’t consider this a battle. While my husband is gone from this world, the battle in that sense is over. However, my hope in heaven is even greater than before, as I have confidence that I will someday see my savior Jesus Christ and join my husband in heaven along with others who have gone before. I can’t imagine losing him forever, never to see him again; that would be literally hopeless. Life without belief in Jesus and a hope for heaven would be no life at all! My hope in Jesus Christ not only sustains me now but gives me much more to look forward to in heaven. The verse that I am leaning into is:
“Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16: 9-11

What are your conversations with God like right now(April 2021)?

CONSTANT! From crying out for help to endure the emotional pain of losing my husband and best friend of 34 years to asking for strength, guidance and wisdom in the many choices I am faced with navigating this new journey. As well as thanking him for being here with me. Praising him for the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. Resting in his perfect peace as I trust him with my life and future journey. I am grateful for his word and promise to me:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

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I then joined the worship team to sing “Because He Lives”… “I can face tomorrow”… indeed I can face all my tomorrows because Jesus Lives! Those words, then and now, are so very comforting and empowering!

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A powerful, meaningful, and memorable Easter it was in April of 2021. My first Easter without Ken, but I was not alone then nor today. I have experienced grief, loss, surrender, growth, hope, joy, and so much more through these past four years. And I know I have a future!

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Thank you for sharing this memory with me. I hope you have been encouraged. May God bless you through whatever you are experiencing during this season.

Your friend,
Pati

Proverbs 3:5,6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your path.