What’s the first thought or response that popped into your head when you read the title for this blog? Were you thinking in moments as in how much longer do I need to wait on hold for someone to answer my call after multiple attempts to speak to a human. Or were you remembering something you need to tend to later today and wondering how you are going to get to there in time. Perhaps you found yourself looking at your smart phone, watch or monitor to check on the time right now only to discover that once again you ran out of time and need to get going now. Could you be in a situation where time is seemingly to be standing still as you await a very important answer, decision, or impending loss as you think, how much time do I have to wait?
Two years ago my husband Ken had asked his Oncologist, “How Much Time Do I Have”. We were aware the brain cancer had not abated and he was declining in capacity and function, but we hoped for a bit more time, ‘quality of time’ that is. The response was not what we anticipated, likely three months maybe six. We had taken care of the business stuff of life weeks before on a fast track as Ken’s ability to understand and communicate was rapidly diminishing. He was diagnosed with a fast growing, aggressive brain cancer just eight weeks earlier. But we were still hoping for and looking forward to time together to love, laugh, live each day looking into each others eyes with appreciation, love and peace. We did not know how much time we had but Ken clearly communicated to all of us to read God’s word, pray for each other and “keep your mom out of trouble”, his sense of humor still makes me laugh.
In just five short weeks after Ken was given his answer to “How Much Time Do I Have”, he breathed his last breath and left this world. But in those few weeks we did all we could to make Ken comfortable, share time with family nearby and via zoom far away. God blessed us with new friends who visited Ken, prayed with and for him and he for them. It was if this time Ken had was all about us and others and less about him. He knew where he was going, and with the little time he had he wanted to make each moment of time he had to count for what mattered most to him. His love for God and how much he wanted our children and grandchildren to know and understand how much God loves them.
Since Ken departed this earth on March 10,2021 I have had many moments, hours, days, weeks, months and opportunities to ask myself “How Much Time Do I Have?”. At times it is in the many daily tasks I go through or decisions I have considered without Ken’s valuable insight. However experiencing my husband facing a measurable limited amount of time, I have learned to appreciate that what I do with my time now can make a difference in so many ways. And that God is with me literally all the time! So maybe the question now might be “What am I doing with the time I have”.
“How Much Time Do I Have” to live this life to the fullest? Will I live a ‘quality of life’ that reveals how much I appreciate all that God has gifted me with? Can I reflect his love in this new chapter or season as a grateful widow? He has continued to bless me with time to adjust to and build my life without Ken. And I know God has a plan for me to invest whatever time I have for more than I may understand or fathom. I am looking forward to each day.
So, where have your thoughts taken you since you began reading this blog? Are you still on hold, trying to finish up something, hoping to get somewhere on time, or have you had time to read on and consider: “How Much Time Do You Have?” or What are you doing with the time you have? Time is a gift from God regardless of how much any of us have each day or remaining in our life. I hope and pray that you have been encouraged and perhaps challenged a bit to invest and share whatever time you have in ways that will make a difference, both now and eternally. Reading God’s word, in community with those who help you grow and encourage you, sharing your time and help with others who need you, making decisions and choices to allow for more ‘quality of time’ in your life.
Thank you for your time today, I would be grateful and honored to hear from you! May God Bless You!
Should you want to reach out, please email me via my contact page. I look forward to hearing your story too.
Pati Rader 
Very thought provoking as usual. Learning to look ahead knowing somehow the Lord has a plan for each of us as we embrace what we treasure behind us.
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Dear Pati, you sure caused me to stop in my tracks. Just before I read your post, I got word that a friend of ours just went by ambulance to the hospital. Unfortunately these trips aren’t uncommon for him. He has severe COPD and is on oxygen full time now. He now has pneumonia. I was thinking of his wife and how she agonizes each time as to whether or not he will pull through again. I stepped into her shoes for a moment. Then…I saw your post. I went from her shoes to yours. I know it’s not a healthy way to spend your “time”, but I don’t stay there long. I believe going there for a moment can change us. Our “time” is something we foolishly take for granted. By you sharing your story we recognize some areas that need to change. It wakes us up to the value of time. You have found the key to spending your time wisely. It starts with gratitude for your abilities and all you have been blessed with. Then using what you have for others. Posts like yours inspire us to reflect and make some important adjustments in our priorities. Putting God first and reaching out to others gives cause for looking forward to each day as you do. I appreciate having you as a friend. I ask the Lord to help you know He has good things in store for you. And you are having more of an impact than you can imagine! Rest well in His arms, Reba
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Thank you so much Reba. You are encouraging me as well through your book and blog. http://www.rebabailes.com
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