It’s been five years since I began this unexpected journey of widowhood that led to “A Widow’s Journey” website and blog. My heart is so grateful that you have been with me, reading, praying, and connecting during this season of my life. With over 60 blogs and many treasured comments and emails, you have been an important part of this journey. While I have approached this five-year mark, I have been asking myself what’s next? Do I continue writing and sharing about this journey beyond these five years? Or has this blog fulfilled its purpose and time to write or share about life experiences and hope in general, not necessarily with regards to being a widow? Please, I welcome your input (below)!
Five years. These past few weeks, I have been wondering, praying, and considering how to mark this milestone, as it were, as well as how to share it with you, my valued friend and reader. Suffice it to say, five years are in my rear view mirror now, and I am grateful that I am entering my sixth year, and beyond those most difficult first years. I trust God for whatever he places in front of me, or prevents me from walking into this sixth year and each year after that. And I believe Ken will always be a part of my life; his influence, godly example, love, wisdom, and humor filled my heart with a lifetime of fond memories.
A recent visit to Ken’s bench reminded me of how God has blessed me with continued growth and rebuilding of many areas of my life. Ken’s bench is sitting on the edge of a major rebuilding project. And there it sits, unfazed by all the noise and changes, other than some dust, mud, and noise. March 10, 2026, five years later, I sat on his bench and looked beyond the construction to see the many places Ken had shared with all of us. Trees where we enjoyed the relaxation of hammocking, a playground that he climbed on with the grands, and just in front of my feet, the winding path where we spent countless hours walking, talking, dreaming, praying, and planning our new adventure in NWA.
Memorial Park, 2020
This path in front of Ken’s bench was where we took a few walks towards more parks and sites to see, and then back again, beyond the path to our NWA home. We had quite a few biking adventures on this path that led to a bikeway, winding around a pond and tumbling creek, where he zipped along on his new red bike, with me cautiously following behind. As I sat on Ken’s bench, the wonderful memories took me away for a moment, and I could hear Ken’s laughter and his words, encouraging me to enjoy all that God has created and to pause and be still. He would often be still watching and listening, as he recorded experiences and took pictures in his mind to remember special moments. Sitting on Ken’s bench, even without him sitting beside me, much of what I experience and enjoy today is a blessing that he is still a part of in my heart. And in that moment, God reminded me to sit and know that change will continue to happen in my life, but that just like this strong bench, God’s strength and provision will hold me close and provide respite and wisdom for my continued journey, regardless of what is happening around me.
“Livin The Dream” Romans 8:28
In this fifth year, I have had moments of grief and overwhelming gratitude that sometimes hit or bless me out of nowhere, and I have learned to lean into these moments to pause and reflect on the blessings I have to recall and hold in my heart. My daily conversations with Jesus continue; his answers and guidance show up in many ways through his word, along with the precious friends and family in my life. He keeps me grounded with the assurance that I am never alone.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philipians 4:13
I want to encourage you that whatever you are journeying through or facing, God loves you and will be with you each and every moment.
Well, there you have it, my five-year update on this journey as a widow. In so many ways, I have experienced this fifth-year journey as a widow to be less chaotic, disorienting, challenging, and difficult. Widow is just a description of my station in life. My true calling and title is a daughter of God, who loves me, cares for my every need, guides me, and is preparing a place for me beyond this earthly moment in time.
Finally, as I shared above, thank you for listening, praying, and joining me on this journey. While I have shared with you through these blogs and my website, I have been asking myself what’s next? Do I continue writing and sharing, or is five years enough? Thank you in advance for your private thoughts and email response on my CONNECT page. I will not be including public comments on this five-year blog. But I would love to hear from you privately.
With gratitude and love,
Pati
Pati Rader 