Sharing my heart, thoughts, and hopes with you today as I continue this journey as a widowed single adult. Discovering each day that I am not alone and there is Strength in Singleness. While I am referring to single adults in this blog, I hope that my married friends will read on as well. And please share your thoughts with me after reading.
Most of us single adults did not anticipate having this title at this stage of our lives. Although some single adults have chosen to remain single, and that is most admirable and biblical, they may still face struggles in their singleness. Others are single adults having experienced the death of a spouse, which often leaves one with the single adult title all too soon and unexpectedly, becoming both a widowed and single adult simultaneously. And some are living through single adulthood, having experienced and struggled through a devastating divorce. Regardless of how we arrived, the commonality is that we are single adults living out each day with the same savior who has the same agenda and plan for our lives. We experience this season in life differently from those who are not single. Even though we are not married, we are not alone in our singleness, and there is an opportunity to experience Strength in Singleness.
Psalm 23:6
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
That is a comforting and powerful promise. God loves us, cares for us, protects us, prepares us, leads us, and remains with us as we enter our ultimate final dwelling place, the house of the Lord. I look forward to that day when I will enter my eternal dwelling place, that forever home. But in the meantime, I know that the goodness, love, mercy, and care of Jesus follow after me all (not just some) the days of my life, and that most certainly includes my single adult journey. He is my great shepherd who loves me, guides me, and has a plan for my life. That promise alone strengthens me in my singleness.
My story of becoming a single adult ‘again’ is both heartbreak and a blessing; my life journey as a happily married adult was interrupted just four and a half years ago when my husband went to his dwelling place after a short, aggressive battle with brain cancer. I enjoyed 34 years with a man of God who blessed my life immensely and demonstrated to me what biblical marriage looks like. A tremendous gift from God, especially after I had suffered a devastating divorce and was raising two children alone just years before Ken and I met. I understand how being a single adult can disrupt your life and relationships, often leaving you feeling hopeless, damaged goods as it were, broken, and wondering about your existence and future.
These past four years have been difficult and overwhelming at times, but I have never been alone and have continued to grow in my God given Strength in Singleness! Any strength I have comes from my Lord. Still, it is up to me to take on this chapter of my life fully committed —not to cower, not to fall into deception, not to take what appears to be the easy way out, but to stand up, stand strong, and remain in the presence of my savior—for myself. For those of you who have a relationship with Christ, we must remind ourselves that we are part of the flock—the body of Christ—and that we belong to someone and somewhere so much bigger and greater than any experience or setback we are living through now.
John 10:27,28
My sheep listen to My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;
and I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.
In this season of Strength in Singleness, I have chosen to grab hold of life while being shepherded by my savior. This is just a brief moment in my life, and all of time after all. I have found it to be essential to continue connecting with others, participating in various groups (some for a short time, but no less meaningful and helpful), taking part in a hobby, or something enjoyable and enriching, having conversations, and attending church as beneficial choices and steps towards Strength in Singleness. To be open to new opportunities to share the love of Jesus with others, to experience what I have right now, not what I lost, to focus on what I can do and not what I can’t… To step into this journey without allowing others to step on me through lies, manipulation, and worldly deception. To share that there can be Strength in Singleness with other single adults.
As a single adult, you are not alone. You are not facing this life, world, or any situation without the gentleness, love, and mercy of Jesus. He is pursuing you, following and loving you towards your final home in eternity. You may be going through the worst right now as a single adult, wondering if things will ever get better or change. But there is indeed Strength in Singleness. Why? Because the strength of our Lord is right here with us. That Strength in Singleness is not something we can manifest on our own. However, if you are struggling or in despair over your current singleness, may I encourage you to reach out to your church community, a counseling center, or a trusted friend, and stay connected to others who will come alongside you. Please know you can email me privately. I am honored to pray for you.
Lamentations 3:22,23 (NAS)
The LORD’s acts of mercy indeed do not end, for His compassions do not fail.
They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
These are significant days for us as single adults. I am often reminded through God’s word that I am not alone by any means, even when I feel that way in my humanness. Nowhere in this passage do I read that it is directed to a specific demographic or station in life. Nor do we use up our allotted mercy or goodness; his love is continuous!
I have experienced challenges, disappointments, losses, sin, and more as a single adult, and with the Savior’s help, I have overcome them. As I share my story of how God loves me and has gotten me through and beyond life’s potholes and speed bumps, I hope it will benefit someone else. To my fellow single adults, your story can make a difference in the lives of other single adults as you share your own Strength in Singleness.
Some of you reading this blog may not have experienced the forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love of Jesus, and may not have believed in and accepted him as your savior. Please reach out to me or someone you know who is a Christian to help you make the biggest and best decision of your life! I can’t begin to fathom how I could have gotten through these past few years or my entire life without Jesus by my side and in my heart.
While this blog post is directed to single adults, I hope it will, in some way, encourage married readers as well. Or perhaps provide an opportunity to better understand the single adults in your life.
Thank you for reading and remaining with me on this journey where I am discovering more and more each day about the love Jesus has for me, and the opportunity to realize that there is “Strength in Singleness”.
God bless you,
Pati
Psalm 23, spoken by Pati on “Hope For The Journey” (Spotify), also listed on Resource page
Recommended reading: “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” by W. Phillip Keller is available on most book sites or the public library.
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Pati Rader 
Thank you for your thoughts and comments.